|
This script came about after I wrote a silly script for my class, attempting to parody their idea of a show they were making. They wanted to do a horror walk style event, but our classroom is so small it was a bit of a silly idea. However, upon reading the script making fun of everyone's ideas, the class decided 'This is good stuff! Let us use this!'. It was quite a terribly written thing, so I rewrote it, and here it is! By no means is this a professional script. You can probably tell by the amount of bad jokes in the descriptive text, the vague descriptions of things we were planning in class and other things like that.
Still, it could be enjoyable to someone, so here it is.
(I would like to add that this wasn't used in the end because we organized it so well, the actors learnt their lines the evening before. So it was shortened by a lot. Pretty much cut to the guide only giving instructions on what the 'customer' was to do)
The Fright Site
Front of
House, wearing a suitable costume, is holding a collection cup for ‘Fright
Hospital’, the most unimaginatively named hospital name idea of all time. Once
people donate $2 to the hospital, they get a receipt which lets them into a
special waiting room with snack and drinks and they will eventually get called
in to the hospital in groups depending on the colour of their tickets
When they are called in, they are taken on a tour of the hospital by a doctor
or nurse. The doctor or nurse is wearing an eye patch, because eye patches are
a sign of danger, and they are cool
Scene 1 –
The Haunted Hospital entrance
Guide
Good afternoon guests, visiting hours are nearly over so let’s make this
quick.
Guide walks them into the room. As soon as they enter, they see a skeleton
on their left which is just taking up display room. They walk to a room with
whatever costume we put them in and rubber gloves. Music is lightly playing
over the speakers
Please put these on. The hospital has been under investigation for some of
its...happenings but everything should be fine. Still, best to make sure,
eh? This place used to be an mental asylum , you know?
Guide takes them away from the suiting up area and then pretends to trip. In
front of the guide there is a lengthy but not too deep box of goo. Inside the
goo is a single bouncy ball/eyeball/round thing. The idea is for the guide to
have lost their eye and so they need to cover it with their hand or close it,
it’s dark so they can’t see anyway. Somewhere around here can be the empty
wheelchair to add to the atmosphere
Oh, bugger. Seems I’ve lost my good eye. Sounds like it fell into this box
of...well it’s probably better that you don’t know what’s in there. Could you
all just have a look for it for me? We very well can’t continue if I’m blind
Guide laughs at his own joke, which isn’t even meant to be funny. The group
members stick their hands into the goo and look for an eyeball. Once someone
finds one, the guide signals for them to hand it over.
Thanks mate, we would have been in a bit of a sticky if we didn’t find
that. Get it, sticky? Because you just put your hands in... wow, is that the
time? We better move on!
Group vow to track down writer to avenge their time wasted on terrible
jokes. The guide tells them to take off their gloves; they can adlib a reason
to make it more interesting. The group walk up a step or two to get a look at
the display of jars with bodily parts in them. Who knows why they have them on
display at a hospital, they just do. They do a left turn and there are spiders
and cobwebs in this small area. There is also a fan blowing to make a cool
chill. They then take another left turn, as this is only a small space.
They turn a corner and spotlight
flashes onto different body parts hanging on the wall. On the other side there is
ink blots and a TV showing static, or a hospital monitor showing a heart rate
beat, which dies. The ink blots are in darkness, so they can’t be seen.
Guide
Here we have the remains of Jack the Ripper, and also some of the body
parts that the last group who came in ‘donated’.
The light on the body parts go into darkness
and the ink blots light up.
Guide
Now we have a test, because we need to do something here. Tell me what you
see in these ink blots, or else!
Someone in the group must say something
and if they don’t, the guide encourages them to do so. Maybe offer candy,
because that is creepy. When someone answers, the guide shouts at them!
Guide
YOU’RE CRAZY! Let’s move on.
Amazing segue, right? The guide moves on
into the next room, and seats them. Or stands them.
Guide
Alright,
we’ve made it all the way to the waiting room. Please wait around and someone
should be with you shortly to take you to the rooms.
Group walk into the second half of the room, where there is a large sheet of
whatever it’s called where a shadow show is going to be played. On the left,
there is a table with a body lying on it. The body is strapped on the table
with something (straps?). On the right, two people walk in. One is a Psycho who
appears to be a normal doctor at first, while the other one is a normal doctor
who is new to the hospital. Doctor carries in a clipboard and -always addresses
the Psycho as Sir. They walk over to the body
Psycho
(Talking directly to Doctor) Alright, ready for your first
operation?
Body
No!
Doctor
Sir! Isn’t the body meant to be under anaesthetic or dead or something?
Psycho
Oh, that wasn’t the body. That must have been someone in the waiting room.
Stupid idea to put an operating table right next to one...
Psycho appears to stuff something in the mouth of the body
Now then, you, read me the medical charts or whatever they are
Doctor
You mean the diagnostic?
Psycho
(Loudly) LIES! (Normally) I mean, yes.
Doctor checks their clipboard.
Doctor
The patient is believed to have a mild case of swine flu
Psycho
That’s the one that’s always on the news! Quick, I must perform a full
autopsy at once! Get me the chainsaw!
Doctor gets the chainsaw and hands it to Psycho. The doctor starts moving
around like crazy and begins slicing at the body’s stomach area. Blood and
things fly around, the blood being water. The doctor pulls out the intestines
(rope). Patient screams, presumably from pain.
Psycho
Look at this! Clearly the patient is unhealable. Quick, the axe!
Doctor picks up axe, but hides it behind him
Doctor
(Freaked Out) This can’t be right! We didn’t learn this at medical
school. You’re flippin’ crazy!
Psycho
FOOL! Are you sure you want to talk to me like that with a chainsaw in my
possession?
Doctor hands over the axe quickly. Psycho violently swings it at the head of
the body, and it appears to be half chopped off. The head is just half a
coconut. If it’s small, the doctor can drink out of it. If it’s big, he can
wear it as a snazzy hat, and crazily boast about it. Doctor runs away, but
Psycho throws the axe or chainsaw at him and he dies. John suggests getting a
real heart from a butcher, pulling it out of the body and throwing it over to
the group. Then he pulls something crunchy out of the body and eats it (a loud,
crunchy fruit. Otherwise, a SFX. The Grim Reaper walks into the play and stands
menacingly in the corner. He touches the body being chopped up by the psycho.)
Pyscho
No! You killed him! What’s
the fun in operating on someone dead? Get him out of here, hey Deathy?
Death removes the body and the play ends. The group is signalled somehow to
move on, they go and see some very scary x-rays of things, and they see a
wheelchair in the corner with smoke coming out of it. There is someone sitting
on it in a straight jacket. Then they walk past horrifying tables, possibly
with displays on them! Then they walk up to the door, where nothing scary
happens, which is scary. Then they go out the door.
Fin. |
